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Why we should forgive?

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Many people have trouble letting go of some issues of the past. Memories of people who have done us wrong haunt us from time to time. Sometimes we remain angry at a person even if we have forgotten why we are angry in the first place.

Anger is normal but to stay angry for a long time is unhealthy for relationships and for your health as well.  It is important that we learn to let go and forgive the people who hurt us whether they deserve it or not. This is not just for the sake of peace but for your sake as well.

Psychologists say that if we do not forgive the people we hate, eventually we turn into that person without us knowing it.  This all the more heightens the need for us to learn to forgive, otherwise we learn to hate ourselves as well.

Anger Management

You of all people have to be the master of your anger. As humans, it is one of our weaknesses to get irrational at times and give in to our anger.  But to make that anger linger and feed it with hate makes it a grave sin to others and to yourself. You have to manage your anger and know how to overcome it.  When you are angry, take a break and get away from the cause of anger.  

Take deep breaths and close your eyes.  This gives you a chance to focus and think.  If you are very angry that you feel you want to hurt someone, it helps to give out a loud shout or you may even mash things to the wall. Although it is messy, breaking a plate or two is better than getting into a painful and bloody fist fight. Right?  Release that anger and do not rush into an argument or a fight while you are at the height of your rage. Tell yourself “I am in control!”  and you will be.

Something Good

When you are mad at someone or a situation, do not focus on the reason you are angry. Try to weigh things and see both sides. Did you do anything wrong too?  Why did he or she do that?  There has to be something good about that person who did you wrong.

Focus on the good times you had and the good things that he or she has done for you. Is the offense enough to discredit the good things he or she has done in the past?  Is the reason for fighting or being angry now worth destroying your friendship or relationship with that person?  When your nerves have calmed down, think back…there must have been something good there to stop you from hating the person.

Your Effect to People

If things do not work out and you stay angry at the person or the person refuses to apologize, you still have to make an effort to forgive.  Why?  Because an angry person is not a pleasant person to be with. Your anger towards one person affects your relationship with others.

Sometimes when a new acquaintance resembles the person you hate, you begin to make presumptions that he or she would do the same things your offender did in the past. When a person is angry it shows in the things that you say and do without you knowing it.

One day you will find yourself talking about the offense over and over to people who do not know the person you are talking about. Anger consumes a person and eventually takes over.  It makes you a negative person…and no one can stand being with someone like that.

Be Proactive

The word proactive comes to mind when I discuss anger management.  Many times we get angry too fast without even thinking. We have to develop a proactive attitude towards life. In our modern times, we cannot waste time fighting when there are so many more productive things that need to be done. So if someone does you wrong and the offense is not that grave, let it go.

Try to understand why that person did it.  There has to be a good reason.  Listen and try to see things his way as well. Taking control also means being “The Better Man” Be the good guy for once and even if it means you will seem like a martyr at times, having less fuzz to worry about is so much worth it.

Inner Peace

Lastly, make sure to have forgiven every offense before you go to sleep at night.  If someone has hurt you, tell them how you feel. If you have done someone wrong, say “I’m sorry”  If someone has not apologized for an offense, simply say “One day you will get what you deserve.”  and the most important thing you have to say is “You have hurt me but I forgive you.”  This will give you an inner peace and make your life positive in every way.

Above all, you you have to live your life anew each day and end it by forgiving yourself for the things you hate yourself for. Live a life of love and you can never go wrong.  And love begins with forgiveness.

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