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Why It Doesn’t Matter What Other People Think

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In a very self-absorbed yet self-conscious society, the opinions of others seem to be valued more than the opinions we have of ourselves. Self-worth has to go through the rigorous process of being validated through the warped and biased perspectives relatives, friends, colleagues, co-workers, and for some odd reason even strangers. People are afraid to venture out and test the waters of their own likes and dislikes without the stamp of approval of others because of the fear of being labeled an outcast, portraying the wrong body image, professing support of an unpopular opinion or lifestyle. What does that leave you with? An empty shell. You live a life that is not fully owned by you. You stray away from what brings you joy, because it dissatisfies an irrelevant third party.

There is nothing wrong with being cognizant of the various and diverse perspectives of those around you. It is the act of letting their beliefs and wants influence and overrule your own, and is when you begin to lose yourself. More often than not, the judgement of others stems from their own insecurities, past failings, or envy. When someone sees that you are excelling, or making an attempt to change, the only weapon they can use against you is their disapproval and ridicule.

Look at who you are. Who you surround yourself with. What you are trying to become. What you are working diligently on to improve upon and to gain. Then look at them. Are they sitting on the couch trying to knock you off your pedestal because they are too afraid of the risk of falling? Are they your competitor? Everyone does not want a fair fight or a justified victory. Do not let your competitors finagle you into dropping out or giving up. Or are they ahead of you afraid that you will catch up? There are many people who instead of  mentoring and inspiring the great minds that are to come next they are selfish and greedy trying to stay where they are and keep you from reaching and surpassing them.

Situations where you should absolutely disregard someone else’s opinion:

Relationship advice from a single friend or relative

Clearly if everything were working out for them they wouldn’t be single, right? If it’s someone who has been in that particular situation and can offer genuine wisdom, it’s good to simply take it into consideration. On all counts avoid the input of lonely or bitter single friends. Their perspective is most likely tainted, and whether they intend to or not, their input can be more detrimental than helpful.

Appearance

Unless it’s from a professional stylist, and sometimes not even them, who cares what people have to say about your particular style. However, make sure it is appropriate for where you are. Evening attire in the workplace or a 21 year old wardrobe at 53 may warrant a little constructive criticism. If you like tattoos, make sure they are vibrant with an engaging story. If you like to experiment with your style and clothing, don’t let anyone else’s fear of expressing themselves suppress you.

Spiritual Beliefs

Whatever your spiritual or religious convictions are, they should bring you peace, clarity, and a better sense of self. Religion is often one of the most debated topics of which one is right, and if all others will send you to damnation. Don’t focus on what others believe. If you are confident and secure in whatever your spiritual connection may be and it is not bringing harm to yourself and others, then remain loyal to it.

Interests

Remember how if you liked studying or reading you were a dork? If you liked alternative music you were goth? People automatically assume that if it is beyond their comprehension, they do not possess an affinity for it, or are not skilled at it then it should be avoided.

Not only that, but that others should have an aversion to it as well. We live in a society where individuality might be praised after it has been ridiculed and ostracized.

Do not mold your interests and wants around the hope and possibility of it being acceptable or approved by others. People are very fickle and indecisive, and what they have initially shunned once can be celebrated later.

If you are not a fan of sports at all, that’s why there’s music and art out there. If you don’t like Beyonce, that’s kind of perplexing, but that’s okay too.

Being an introvert and preferring the calm and quiet should be something you can be comfortable about. Extroverts should be able to enjoy their lives to the fullest without the reproach of others afraid to step into the light.

You should take pride in every characteristic of what makes up your unique personality, despite if someone else doesn’t like one small aspect.

Why should the opinions of others play such a significant role in your life?

If you are constantly second guessing what you like, what you enjoy to do, or who you want to be with because of the cynical whisper of “I wonder what they would think,” it’s time to simply say “F*** what you think”!

However, to avoid getting fired, slapped, or in any kind of trouble just use the politically correct “Thank you for your input”. Don’t let the unnecessary weight of approval hold you back.

The people who are appreciative of you in the way that you organically are with accept you flaws, what they might want to change about you, and all. So disregard the thoughts and opinions of others and finally and completely own your life.

Build and enjoy your life in the way that you envision it, because after all it is your life to live not someone else’s to live for you. What you think about it, what you want from it, and whether or not you are happy should be the most important opinion of all.

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