Good intentions are a trait of a caring, empathetic person. Generally, good intentions benefit others. They help them find their way in life, turn them away from wrong decisions, and build relationships. There are some downfalls to them, though.
Have you ever wondered why after giving advice to a friend, that friend shuts down emotionally? Maybe your life gets more hectic after you start planning ahead. Or maybe, you have ruined a perfectly good social situation without knowing why.
We’re going to take a look at some reasons why your good intentions may be causing harm to you and to others.
You Come Across Wrong
When you give someone advice or attempt to help them, you have to be very considerate of a few things: Your tone, the personality of the person you are helping, and the situation. Your tone of voice when giving helpful tips is so important. You need to make sure that you’re coming across as warm, not bossy. Don’t holler and say things in a harsh manner.
Make sure that you’re wording your phrases in a way that is non-offensive. Consider also the personality of the person you are helping. For instance, an introvert may need to be approached in a different manner than an extrovert. Some people will take offense easily, while others can handle the tough love approach you present.
Think about the situation you are facing. Is it high stress or low key? Is the person involved in a petty problem, or is this life-changing? Spending a few moments evaluating the situation will save a lot of apologies.
You Are Hypocritical
People will not take too kindly to being bossed by people who they don’t feel have their own act together. To them, it is the same as a blind man leading a blind man. It just plain doesn’t work. Make sure that if you are giving your advice that you have had success in the area.
If you haven’t had success, then at least be sure there is a great lesson you learned from the experience. Beware of telling people to act a certain way when you yourself act the complete opposite. Be a person who always practices what they preach.
Do not expect something from someone if you aren’t willing to give it yourself. If you’re in the position to give advice if at all possible, partake in your request with the person.
You Are Overbearing
Individuals thrive on independence. They like to be allowed basic space in making their own decisions. As humans, we have a tendency to control things, including other people. Chances are, if you’re too overbearing on another person’s decisions, they are going to react in a way that isn’t what you originally pictured.
Just like we talked about in the above point, take into account everything about the situation before you proceed. Suffocating your loved one with your well-meaning words of advice will harm your relationship instead of bringing the result that you wanted.
If you realize that you have been overbearing towards another person, apologize as soon as you can. There is always hope for relationships when you apologize out of a sincere heart! For optimal relationship status, give space freely and advice sparingly. Do not be overbearing on yourself either.
This looks a little different than being overbearing towards others. Being overbearing on yourself means that you expect a level of perfection that you or any other human is incapable of giving. It means that you scrutinize yourself to the point of inducing anxiety, shame, and fear in your life. Cut yourself a little slack and let things go!
You Are Misdirecting Your Life
Lastly, your good intentions might be harming you as an individual. You might be forging your own path without truly thinking about what the results will be. Controlling your life is a sign of independence to a certain extent, but there does reach a point where it will harm you more than benefit you in the long run.
Take a break to just sit back and evaluate your life now and where you would like to be. Make sure that you are on the correct track to getting what you really want. If you’re headed in the wrong direction, turn around fast! Your good intentions to create a certain type of life might be taking you away from your life’s true purpose. You might wonder, “How can I find my purpose?”
A good way to find your purpose is to figure out what your talents are and where your passion lies. That point where they intersect is your life’s calling. Sit down and write a list of everything that matters to you in life. When you figure out where you’re supposed to be going, make a detailed plan of how to get there.
Many times we can have good intentions for our lives in thinking that we are going to make them just like someone else’s. Don’t think that way. Let your life be as unique as you are. Always remember that you have something the universe needs.
Good intentions are often a confusing thing. Sometimes they help us advance; other times, they are nothing but a huge setback. By examining the above points, you might get some insight as to what your good intentions truly are.
Taking time to evaluate what your intentions really are will push you forward in life. Good intentions can be hard to navigate, but they can be the best thing for us with the right strategy plan.